


Pointed Toes and Pirouettes

by vakarianns



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, Humor, Modern Day Dance AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2996879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakarianns/pseuds/vakarianns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The Citadel was the West Point of Dance Schools. Only twenty students graduated each year, and spots in premier dance companies were handed out almost at the same time as diplomas. Graduates of the Citadel had guaranteed futures, which was a rare thing in a performing arts career.</p><p>Kaidan Alenko had known that the Citadel was his dream school ever since he had first donned a pair of dance shoes."</p><p>AU in which Shepard and Kaidan are dancers auditioning for a place in The Citadel Dance Academy. Written for Shenko AU week, 2014. Cross-posted from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The only dance experience I have is from watching Dance Moms. Please do not come after me.

The Citadel was the West Point of Dance Schools. Only twenty students graduated each year, and spots in premier dance companies were handed out almost at the same time as diplomas. Graduates of the Citadel had guaranteed futures, which was a rare thing in a performing arts career. Kaidan Alenko had known that the Citadel was his dream school ever since he had first donned a pair of dance shoes.

He’d been four years old, watching a ballet on television. He’d thought it was beautiful, and tried to imitate the dancers, nearly breaking a dozen bones in the process. His parents enrolled him in classes after he broke a lamp trying to pirouette, telling him that they would gladly pay for dance classes in exchange for him promising not to break anything else. Kaidan took the agreement to heart, and learned to control exactly where his limbs were at all times. By the time he was a good enough dancer to enter competitions, Kaidan was meticulous about control, and his form was nearly perfect as a result. The only critique he still received on a regular basis was that he needed to “feel” the music more, and let his emotions guide his movements. But Kaidan knew that if he did that , then he would get sloppy, and in his opinion, a clean performance was always better than a sloppy one.

His ‘emotionless’ performances got him far enough to be invited to the competition portion of the Citadel application. He had passed the initial audition, interview, and academic criteria. All he needed to do now was attend a six-week course held on campus, judged by Citadel teachers, and handle himself well enough to make the final cuts. There were twenty spots in the freshman class, and forty-two applicants.

The first two weeks were made up of solo freestyles of differing moods, tests to make sure the dancers were well-rounded. Dancers who had only taken Tap had to find a way to dance Modern, and Jazz dancers had to learn Hip-Hop in a day. Luckily, Kaidan knew enough of most genres to have no problems, given he stuck to the basics.Even Hip-Hop wasn’t too difficult, as he could fake emotion with the heavy beats and exaggerated movements. He was most excited for the last dance, though.

The Citadel was famed as a classical ballet school, first and foremost, so the last dance before initial cuts was a ballet. That was the day when everyone was the most on edge. The dances were public, and each dancer was given a critique after their dance, so most students watched and took the opportunity to learn from the other dancer’s mistakes. Kaidan took notes.

Tali Zorah- Exotic looking girl with free movement. Would be good at theater pieces, but lacks refinement and experience.

Garrus Vakarian- Strong, but rigid dancer. Needs to loosen up. Might be nerves.

Ashley Williams- Tough and fiery, moves a bit erratically, but has power.

Kaidan also meticulously checked his watch, getting up an hour before his scheduled dance time in order to warm up. He already had on his dance clothes on under his sweatpants, but he needed to stretch for at least a half hour to be limber enough to show off his skills. The time was also useful for getting in the right mindset.

He was in the middle of a particularly important hamstring stretch when he heard a voice pierce through his focusing playlist. Kaidan yanked out one ear bud to hear the question repeated.

“Alenko, right?” Kaidan nodded, but didn’t open his eyes, mouthing his remaining stretch count as if to stress that he was busy. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…

“You were at the Arcturus dance competition, right? Four years ago?” Kaidan opened his eyes, wondering who would bother to interrupt him. He usually didn’t make friends with other dancers, because there really wasn’t much space for friendship in the competitive atmosphere. He didn’t know who to expect, but he was especially shocked to see a face that was almost a legend among dancers his age.

“Shepard?”

The woman chuckled, moving into a lunge. She was warming up as well.

“Yeah. Arcturus?” Kaidan nodded, that particular competition one of the more memorable ones in his career. He had gotten the highest technical score of the day, a quarter point shy of his personal best, but he still hadn’t had the highest scoring dance. That had gone to Shepard, and the points she earned from that dance were enough to earn her the title of 'Spectre', a designation for lifetime achievement at national ballet competitions that was only earned by a handful of dancers every generation. Her lifetime point tally was as high as some professional dancers’, and at age 15, she was the youngest to ever receive the award. It skyrocketed her into fame well outside of the dance sphere. She’d even made it onto a few national morning news shows, where she became a spokesperson for the entire dance community. But she’d disappeared after that, and no one had seen her at a dance function since.

“I didn’t know you would be here.” Kaidan was struck dumb.There had been many rumors concerning Shepard’s whereabouts the past few years, but the most common one was that the Citadel had recruited her early. That was unheard of, and obviously untrue, if she was preparing to dance an audition for them now. She looked at him oddly, and he realized that he must have seemed a bit _too_ surprised to find her here. He didn’t want to insult her; he’d have to find an excuse for his awkwardness. He faintly remembered that she had been in the next age category up at Arcturus, which would have put her into last year’s freshman class. “I uh- I thought you were nineteen.” Kaidan felt his face flush as his hurried half-explanation fell on his own ears.

“Missed last year’s class by three days. The Citadel’s pretty strict about age requirements.” Shepard replied, going back to her stretch. She didn’t seem offended, and Kaidan felt as if he’d dodged a bullet. Making enemies with one of the most talented dancers would definitely not help his chances of making it in the dance world.

“But I’m here now.” Shepard popped up out of her stretch fast enough to make Kaidan’s joints hurt, and flashed him a grin. “Thought you’d end up here too, your form is impeccable.” Her eyes danced around his figure, following his stretch, and Kaidan felt his face flush. She seemed far from offended, perhaps the exact opposite. _Was she flirting with him?_

Shepard rolled her shoulders and popped onto her toes, her leg muscles bulging through her tights. She glanced out onto the stage, where the lights flashed to indicate the next dancer’s turn. “My time to shine. See you up next, Alenko.”

She lept off of her pointe and towards the stage, leaving him with his mouth agape. He had remembered her being a natural, but she was so calm, it was almost scary. Most of the other dancers backstage were showing their nerves through varying shades of white faces and nervous fiddling. Kaidan stood and made his way into the wings to watch Shepard, knowing that her critiques could be the most enlightening of the day.

Her music started, but Shepard stayed completely still, on the edge of the stage. When she began to walk forward, it was slow, and her feet were far ahead of her body. She moved to the center of the stage in a way that was both graceful and awkward, as if she didn’t quite understand how her limbs moved. She looked like a newborn horse, trying to discover how to move on long legs, and not yet knowing their strength. Slowly, her movement became more controlled. She went through a series of turns and lifts, showcasing the grace of long limbs that had looked so awkward at the beginning of her dance. At one point, she lifted a foot and held it in the air, her knee bent at a ninety degree angle. She flexed her foot up and down, toes curling, before setting it down and dragging it along the floor as her entire body turned. Then she was off again, leaping out of the odd movement in a way that was dizzying. Kaidan wondered how she didn’t fall.

She moved beautifully, there was no doubt about that, but something was odd about her dance. She wasn’t en pointe, like so many of the other dancers had been, and Kaidan knew she was capable of dancing completely en pointe. Shepard also didn’t have some of the more advanced ballet moves in her dance, instead swapping them out for ones that looked like they belonged in a modern dance. Kaidan could only watch, wondering what she would do next.

She was in the middle of a pirouette that transformed into a pump turn, her leg flung out viciously to keep her body upright. Then, in the time it took Kaidan to blink, she was down. Her right leg had fallen under her. Kaidan was shocked, until she rolled out of it with all the grace of a cat, and he knew that the fall had only been part of her dance. An unexpected part of the dance, as classical ballet almost never called for floorwork. It slowly dawned on Kaidan that Shepard wasn’t dancing classical ballet at all. She was dancing contemporary ballet. Contemporary ballet was a mixture of the high control of classical ballet and the freedom of movement allowed in contemporary dances, and it was rare to see in a formal dance setting. And Shepard, a _Spectre_ , was dancing _contemporary ballet_ in an audition for the _Citadel_.

She was good, though. Mind-bogglingly good. She moved, and Kaidan felt a strange pull, as if he should join her. Her dancing called to him, and he felt himself growing emotional. Her body sang of a perfect mesh of strength and beauty; she was a weapon that could kill with an expertly executed turn or leap. She moved, and Kaidan could hear her body speak to his soul. Is this what his dances were missing? He watched Shepard more closely, hoping to somehow figure out how she could make him feel so many things just y moving her body.

She stopped suddenly, her torso collapsing forward, and she curled inward. She was done.

“Thank you.” The Head Judge said, somehow managing to use the same voice he had with every other dancer. Kaidan didn’t know if the judges would be awed by Shepard’s dance, or appalled at her choice of genre, but he wished he had his notebook with him so he could write down their comments.

“Miss Shepard, you dance with a great deal of emotion, and you are very comfortable performing. You could dance with more control, as when you let yourself get too into the mood of the dance, your focus slips, and there are some technical issues. If you could find a balance between emotion and control, you could be one of the best dancers this establishment has ever seen.” The judge paused, looking up from his pad of paper. “Your choice to dance contemporary was an interesting one, especially considering your Spectre designation. May I ask, why did you choose to dance in that particular style?”

Shepard smiled, as if she had wanted the judge to ask that exact question. “For the past few years I have been touring the globe, watching as many different dance companies has possible. I discovered contemporary ballet on accident, and fell in love with it. I had always enjoyed classical ballet, but when I discovered the mix between finesse and power that contemporary ballet had, I knew that it was what I really should have been dancing my entire life.”

The judge nodded, and Shepard left the stage with a small bow. Kaidan hadn’t noticed that the rest of the dancers backstage had crowded around the wings until they skittered away, not wanting to be caught staring. Kaidan stayed where he was, partially because he was the next dancer on board, and partially because he wanted to watch the judges’ faces to see if they gave away any more thoughts about Shepard’s dance.

Shepard flew into the wings, her face flushed from her dance, and her eyes glittering. She glanced to Kaidan, her mouth open in a beaming grin. “Break a leg, Alenko.” Kaidan nodded, wanting to say something about her dance, and how it made him want to leap onto the stage and follow her anywhere she wanted to take him, but she was gone before the words would come.

Kaidan shook, both to loosen his limbs, and to clear his mind. He had to get back into his zone. Watching Shepard had distracted him, and if there was one thing he knew about dancing, it was that distractions would ruin you.

~

He was ruined. He hadn’t extended as far as he knew he could on his leg lifts, and he had felt his muscles wobble towards the end of his dance. That hadn’t happened in years, at least since that time he’d nearly passed out on stage because he hadn’t eaten. He was so embarrassed, he almost didn’t hear the judges’ critiques, but he just barely caught them around the rushing in his ears.

It boiled down to the same critiques he’d gotten since he was a child: good form, not enough emotion. Kaidan had hoped to get a critique that he could actually use. Something like ‘point your toes more’ or ‘tighten your core when you leap’, but the judges had instead focused on his apparent ‘lack of emotion’. Kaidan made his way backstage and started stretching again, breathing deeply to cool himself down. He’d just have to concentrate more, make sure that nothing distracted him again. He’d be more careful, as long as he made it through the first round of cuts. He cursed mentally, furious that he’d blown his best dance, especially since he didn’t have another to make up for it. He was absolutely ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to the dance I used for inspiration for Shepard's solo, if anyone's interested in watching it instead of trying to decipher what I meant in the action scene.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z67v6arjAnM


	2. Chapter 2

Kaidan sat against the wall, waiting for the judges to post the cut list. About a dozen of the dancers would be cut in the first round, which seemed a bit steep considering the caliber of dancer it took to even make it this far. Twelve of forty-two would go home today, leaving thirty to worry. That was when it got tricky. Rumor was, cuts could come at any time after the first round. You could be stretching to prepare for a dance, and a judge could tap you on the shoulder and ask you to leave. 

Kaidan would rather be cut first. It would destroy him to get so close, only to be cut individually because of some stupid mistake. 

Of course, he really didn’t want to be cut at all. If he didn’t make it into this school, there were others, but he had already made the deal with himself that he would pursue another career if he didn’t make it into the Citadel. The dance world was too competitive and too unstable. There were hardly any jobs out there, unless you were a Citadel alumni. It was all or nothing.

Kaidan leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, wondering if he could guess who would be cut. It was  habit from competitions of years past, and a good learning tool to try and guess what the judges’ thoughts were.

 There were some cuts that were obvious, dancers who had been too nervous and made awful mistakes, but once those few were accounted for, it got a bit harder.It would come down to the judges’ preferences. Would they prefer a strong ballet dancer with a weakness for Hip Hop, or a dancer who was less inspired, but well-rounded?  It was a guessing game, and the only person that Kaidan could think of as perfectly safe was Shepard. She’d been good in every genre, and her ballet, while different, was magnificent.

“Hey camper.”

Kaidan opened his eyes.  _Speak of the devil._  Shepard was sliding down the wall beside him, knees tucked into her chest.  

“Wouldn’t have pegged you for one, you know. Sitting right by the door, waiting so you can jump up when they post the results.” She grinned, tongue caught in between her back teeth, as if she had been chewing on it. “Your poker face must be fantastic.”

Kaidan looked at her for a moment, not sure what to say. Shepard stayed quiet, fingers drumming along the tops of her knees.  A door closed shut, and her head snapped up, dislodging a piece of hair from her careful bun. Kaidan looked over to see that the door had just been another dancer coming back from the bathroom, not the judges returning from deliberation. He turned back to Shepard to see her looking down again, the flyaway hair tucked behind her ear.

“Are you nervous?” Kaidan asked, unable to mask the surprise in his voice.

She laughed, but it wasn’t the same jovial chuckle she’d given earlier. This one was weak. “Yeah… Aren’t you?”

“Of course I am, but it’s not like you have any reason to be nervous, Shepard. You’re the only guarantee.” Kaidan said, wondering how she could be nervous at all. Surely she knew that she was a step above every other dancer here, the way she moved.

Shepard looked up at him. “That’s sweet of you to say, but all of those judges have seen me dance before. They know what I looked like years ago, before my ‘vacation’.” She said the last word with a hint of venom in her voice, and Kaidan wondered how many times she had heard people mock her for deciding to travel and study technique at some of the best dance companies around the world.

“And judging by their critique, they don’t see any kind of improvement,” Shepard continued, “I’ll be cut because I won’t be deemed as dedicated as the others.” Her voice lost the venom, and a smile tugged at the corner of her cheek. “But you’re safe, I’d bet. Ol’ Hackett’s eyes lit up when he saw your adagio.”

Kaidan chuckled. Hackett always had loved the slow, methodical movements. He loved picking every minuscule movement apart. “That may be so, but if old critiques are the basis for cuts, then I better go pack my bags. I’ve been hearing ‘good form, no emotion’ since I was twelve.”

Shepard laughed. “I’ll give you some of my emotion if you’ll give me your toes. Always so pointed, you’d think you always walk en pointe, mine always cramp up mid-dance.”

“But you move-“ Before Kaidan could finish his compliment, Shepard was gone. Kaidan turned to see where she was heading, and saw that the wooden double doors were open and a man in a suit was posting a piece of paper to the wall. Kaidan scrambled after Shepard, but got caught up in some of the other dancers who had noticed the commotion. He tried to move around them, but only managed to get stuck behind even more people, the area around the paper now crowded. Kaidan was stuck behind a pair of blondes who looked like twins when he heard the first cry.

He couldn’t tell if it was a cry of relief, or a cry of agony, but it caused the other dancers to all lurch forward, now even hungrier for the knowledge of who had made cuts. Kaidan caught sight of Shepard near the front of the pack. The few other dancers near her gave her a few inches of space, her reputation a helpful deterrent from any jostling, their necks still craned to read around her. Shepard placed her pointer finger on the bottom of the list of lucky dancers and moved up. Kaidan didn’t know if the list was alphabetized and she was being quick, or if it was in the order of choosing and she didn’t want to appear arrogant. Either way, her finger trailed up the names. It passed where the S’s would logically be, and stopped near the top of the list. Her other pointer finger moved up to meet the first, and then continued for  a few more spaces before stopping. She stepped out of the way then, her space immediately being taken up by a wave of anxious dancers.

Kaidan decided to let the throng go at it first. He wasn’t about to fight through the crowd, and he’d like to not have anyone around when he read the list. It was one of the reasons he was a ‘camper’, as Shepard put it. If he was going to be disappointed, he’d like a few seconds of privacy to hide it, either right before the crowd arrived, or right after it dispersed. The pack of dancers slowly dwindled away, some people grinning, and some fighting tears. Kaidan caught himself counting the criers, and had to stop himself. All of these people had hopes and dreams just like he did. It would be cruel to reduce them to numbers just to steady his own nerves.

When there were only a handful of dancers left, Kaidan moved towards the paper on the wall. He got close enough to see the Citadel’s seal at the top, and the tall lettering that made up the heading: “Dancers whose names appear on this list advance to the next round of auditions.”

Kaidan took a deep breath and began at the top of the list. He found Shepard’s name easily, right at the top, about where one of her fingers had stopped.  He scanned the next few names, wondering where else she had stopped, when he found his own name.  He sucked in a breath and put his hand up to the paper, his fingers ghosting over the print. He’d made the cuts. He only had to last a few more weeks without making a grievous mistake, and he’d have a spot at the Citadel.

“Not so bad for old critiques, huh?” Kaidan could almost hear the smile in Shepard’s voice.

Kaidan nodded, still in a breathless stupor. He glanced down the rest of the list out of curiosity. He had guessed most of the names, but some were surprising.

“Did you see this?” Shepard pointed to the bottom of the paper, where there was an extra script.

“Pairs will be posted eight a.m. tomorrow.” Kaidan read, frowning slightly. “Pairs?”

“The rest of the auditions are done in pairs. First round cuts are to take out those who aren’t strong enough individually, and the rest are generally cut because they can’t dance in groups well. They stand out too much, or fall behind. They usually pair up couples who have opposite strengths and weaknesses. They’re hoping they’ll teach each other things.”  Shepard explained. Kaidan wondered how she knew so much about the audition process. It wasn’t like it was common knowledge. The interview questions were even changed every year to try and stop people from preparing.

“I had a friend who got in a few years ago.” Shepard explained, guessing his confusion, “Met up with him a few months ago to ask for tips. Logistics were about all he’d give away. I have no idea how they decide cuts or what they’re looking for, but I can tell you what the next test will be.”

“What?” Kaidan asked, wondering if she really knew, or if she was bluffing.

“Pairs improv.” Shepard said, no hint of a smile on her face.

Kaidan felt weak. “You’re kidding.”

~

She hadn’t been kidding. Everyone had woken up early and gone down to one of the larger dance rooms, as per the instructions posted in the dorms after dinner. Kaidan was stretching when the judges walked into the room. Four of the five sat down at a table on one side, while the fifth stood in the middle of the room.

“In order to be a member of a dance company, you must be able to dance in a group. To judge your ability to do that, the remainder of the audition process will be done in pairs. Each of you has been assigned a partner that will hopefully help you grow as a performer. All dances, from today on, will be assessing your ability to dance with this partner. You will work together for the remaining four weeks, and you will rely on each other. Cuts from now on will not be individual, but in pairs.” He paused as murmurs of shock moved throughout the room. Kaidan felt himself grow angry. He had made it this far on his own, why should someone else hold that much power over his performance? What if he didn’t get along with his partner? What if they didn’t mesh well? He could miss out on the school of his dreams because of someone else’s mistake, a fact which both terrified and infuriated him.

 The judge held up a hand to silence the dancers, “When your name is called, you will begin dancing. Any genre is fine, whatever you’re comfortable with. Your partner will join you, and you will improvise together.  We do not expect a perfect performance, we simply want to see your ability to match another dancer and to come up with choreography together.“

Some dancers began mumbling again, louder. The news of pairs cuts and pairs improv sending everyone into a state of anxiety. Kaidan found Shepard across the room, leaning against a wall quietly.  She looked calm, but her eyes were darting across the room, looking at each dancer in the room. Her brow furrowed every few moments, and Kaidan wondered if she was already planning how she would dance, depending on her partner. Kaidan had no idea what he would do; improv was never his strong suit. He was just hoping that his partner would be called first, so that he could focus on matching them instead of creating his own choreography.

The first dancer was called, a small girl named Liara. She moved to the middle of the room quickly, and Kaidan could tell she was nervous. She began moving slowly, but her grace was apparent. She danced alone for a while, until another dancer’s name was called. Liara paused for a moment, but began dancing again quickly, albeit more reserved in her movements. A tall, dark man began dancing beside her, matching her pirouette, until he lept out of it to move behind Liara. She stumbled a bit, surprised, but regained her balance quickly. The rest of the dance was simple, and they struggled at times. Their differing sizes was an obvious challenge, but they managed.

After a minute, one of the judges thanked them and the two dancers sat along the wall. Another pair was called, and the same kind of awkward dance began again. Kaidan watched as pair after pair danced, some more daring than others, but all less clean than the solo performances had been. That was to be expected, and judging by the lack of paper on the judge’s table, they were not being judged too harshly.

Eventually, the number of unpaired dancers dwindled. There were only four now. A young man with whom Kaidan was unfamiliar, sitting far away from others and fighting a green tint to his face, a girl who had been stretching furiously for the past three pairs, himself, and Shepard.

He would be lying if he said that he didn’t hope to be paired with her. She was a glorious dancer, and an interesting person. She was personable and easy to talk to, but didn’t seem to have many friends. Perhaps that was because of her celebrity status, which she acknowledged but didn’t glorify. She was beautiful, both in motion, and standing still, as she was now. The only movement was in her eyes, which followed the pair dancing currently. They glowed with a fierce calculating glare, as if she was judging every movement and thinking about how it could be done better. She would make a hell of a judge one day, once she’d had her fill of dancing herself. When the pair finished, her eyes softened, and she looked around the room, pausing on the two dancers yet to go. She had been paying attention to the pairings too. Her eyes finally landed on Kaidan, and she smiled, nodding her head towards him.

The head judge stood again, calling the name of the green faced boy, who moved jerkily towards the center. Kaidan saw Shepard stiffen slightly, her eyes darting towards the judge.  The boy began dancing, but Kaidan only watched the judge. He watched the boy for a moment before glancing down at the paper in his hands. “Miss Daniels.”

Shepard relaxed slightly, glancing at Kaidan. She mouthed something he didn’t catch, and when he seemed confused, she only shook her head and smiled. She looked to the dancing pair and settled against the wall. Kaidan only watched her, mind running at a blistering pace. They must have been partnered together for a reason. She favored fast and wild dances, while Kaidan was best at slow, controlled moves. She told a story when she danced, and made you feel strange things, while Kaidan had once been told he moved ‘like a marionette’. They would either learn from each other and steal techniques, as they had joked about earlier, or they would be uneven and odd. That made Kaidan’s pulse speed up. He had been so worried that his partner would be unsatisfactory, he didn’t even think of Shepard. Anyone would be unsatisfactory for her. What if he hindered Shepard so much, he got her cut? He didn’t think he could ever forgive himself if he caused her to lose her well-deserved spot into the Citadel.

“Thank you, Mister Donnelly, Miss Daniels.” The pair walked off, both grinning, and Kaidan wished he had watched them instead of worrying himself. Now he had to dance with his focus muddled.

“Mister Alenko.”  Kaidan blinked and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to improvise ballet, so he’d play to Shepard’s strengths and dance contemporary. He closed his eyes and heard a soft piano intro in his head, a slow beat to move to. He started with a lunge down towards his toes in a graceful arch. He came up the and threw a leg out , extending it as far as possible. He heard the judge call Shepard’s name, and moved forward into a pirouette to give her time to join the dance. He saw her move forward aggressively, squatting and ducking her head between her legs. She came up with a flourish, her hair falling around her face. Kaidan could only see her smile before she was moving again, prancing behind him. He settled out of his pirouette and fell to the ground. He could hear Shepard’s footfalls move around him and come to the front of him. She threw her body forward to cover his back, and then moved back away. Kaidan moved with her, coming up onto his knees. Shepard put her hand on his cheek before leaping away sideways, Kaidan following her. He chased her around in a circle until she spun to face him. He grabbed her hand and moved in front of her, pulling her arm up and behind him. She moved with him, arching her back to match his bend. 

 He lost his balance, though, as she put too much of her weight behind her. It pulled his arm too far back, and he stumbled slightly. Shepard crashed into his back, jarring him forward. He winced, but he could feel her soften behind him, moving away from him in one graceful leap. He hoped that it looked as natural as she wanted it to, but he had no time to worry about it. Kaidan turned, seeing Shepard moving quickly away from him. He guessed that she was about to jump, and set off after her, leaping into the air just after she did. She turned gracefully once she reached the wall, and she glanced down at his hands before racing towards him. Kaidan put his hands in front of him, and she leaped into the air. He caught her and spun them around twice. Shepard clung around his body, her legs tucked to help him hold her. She straightened out as he turned them one more time before setting her down.

He thought they were done. A lift was a crazy thing to attempt in improv, and it would be a stunning move to end with, but the judges didn’t call them off. Shepard moved away from him again, quickly lifting her leg and moving her foot in an odd fashion. Kaidan moved behind her and held onto her waist, unsure of what to do next. What could possibly be more impressive than a lift?

Shepard lifted her other leg and made the same movement  with her foot. Kaidan realized she was circling the air with her toe, and wondered if she wanted to try and synchronize a turn. Shepard moved away from him and stood en pointe, and Kaidan followed her lead. She lifted a leg again, but only slightly, not enough to be a full lift. He took that to mean that the turn would be a pump turn, and not a pirouette. She glanced at him, and he nodded slightly. All of this happened in only a second.

Then, they were turning, almost in unison, Kaidan had started just a bit too early, and Shepard had hesitated a bit. But they fixed it after a turn or two. Shepard ended her turn first, and Kaidan went an extra one so he didn’t stumble out of it. They lept and turned for a bit more, playing off of each other, but they didn’t try any more lifts or synchronization. They simply tested each other until the judge thanked them.

  “Nice job, partner.” Shepard breathed, as she moved to the wall to get a drink.

“Not so bad yourself.” Kaidan replied, “But next time, give me a warning before you go leaping into the air. You could have fallen.”

Shepard only smiled. “I knew you would catch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to the dance used for inspiration for the improv duet-  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA8e1N_lFis


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split the last chapter because I'm still working on tying all of the threads together for the ending, and the 'Last Chapter' was reaching 6k words.

The next weeks were a whirlwind. The judges were almost always absent, which only added to the feeling of panic that hung over all of the dancers. No one really knew what to expect, and it put everyone on edge, Kaidan most of all. He had spent his entire life trying to micromanage his dancing, plan every minute detail in order to make it perfect, and now he was forced to be comfortable with only a few vague instructions.

Kaidan woke up the first Monday with a piece of paper outside his door, giving him the time he was scheduled in the studio, and a theme for a dance to be performed with Shepard at the end of the week. He showed up ten minutes early only to find her already there with a pad of paper, footsteps drawn around the page and notes scribbled in the margins.

She had a way of making the studio time fly by in a flurry of brisk movements and witty one-liners. It didn’t feel like work at all, but the bruises and sore muscles the next day told a different story. They usually had the choreography down by Wednesday, as they would spend the first few days of the week with their heads bent over Shepard’s notepad, poring over moves and planning moves until they were happy. The extra time they had was spent in sessions where Kaidan helped Shepard learn fine motor control and Shepard taught Kaidan how to let loose and feel the dance instead of just stepping it. They would go from holding a plié for twenty minutes, Kaidan telling Shepard to flex each individual muscle in her body, to Shepard turning her IPod to ‘shuffle’ and telling Kaidan to ‘dance whatever you feel’.

It didn’t always go smoothly. Shepard would inevitably grow impatient with slow, methodical dancing, and Kaidan would grow annoyed with Shepard’s unorthodox teaching methods. The first session she’d given him, she had played a ridiculous song with no danceable rhythm and lyrics that suggested he “knew what to do with that big fat butt”.

“For god’s sake, Shepard, is that a recorder?”

“Shhhh, just dance, Kaidan. Dance what you feel.”

Kaidan had just stood there, mouth agape. He hadn’t been able to think of anything, the music only made him feel self-conscious. Shepard had sighed and launched into a hard and fast hip-hop style dance that somehow went perfectly with the beat and left Kaidan even more flustered than before.

As the weeks went on, though, both of them figured out exactly what the other meant, and they grew more comfortable. By the fifth week of the six week program, they worked as if they had been partners for years, and Kaidan was finding his biggest problem to be one that had nothing to do with dance.

Week three was the first hint of it. That was when he and Shepard first started doing real partner work. Long hours of dancing in close proximity to a pretty girl made for some interesting dilemmas. Kaidan dismissed it as being frustrated, as he hadn’t exactly had much time for girlfriends, between training, competitions, and applying to the Citadel. But that simple explanation didn’t stick.

Week four was worse; that was when he and Shepard really started hitting their stride. They spent more time together outside of their studio hours, eating meals together and chatting during down time. Kaidan found himself thinking of her even when he was alone. She’d laughed at one of his jokes one day at lunch, and he spent three nights in a row thinking of things to say to her to make her do it again. He’d known that he was slipping into dangerous territory then, but it was only a yellow flag in his mind, not a red one.

The red flag came in week five. The theme of the dance that week was Lyrical, a traditionally romantic style of dance, and their choreography involved a lot of reaching for each other and brushing fingertips. Not to mention Shepard kept throwing him these looks. He kept having to remind himself that it was just her acting out the story she’d constructed in her mind, but part of him couldn’t help but wish that they were genuine. One of the judge’s main comments that week was Kaidan’s improvement in emoting. Other dancers had later teased him, asking if he really had feelings for Shepard. He had lied and said that he had simply been practicing, but their comments made him wonder if Shepard could tell that he was affected.

Week Six was the worst so far. He was thrilled to be so close to his goal, he was only one dance away from a spot at the Citadel. But part of him was already missing what wasn’t yet over. He knew that once the program was done, he probably wouldn’t see Shepard until classes started in the fall, and even then, there was no guarantee that she’d be interested in remaining friends. She might only be interested in him as long as it took to secure her spot, and then she’d have other, more experienced dancers to socialize with. Kaidan threw himself into the dance that week, determined to finish strong and make the most of the rest of his time. It was Freestyle, a chance to show the judges all of what you had to offer, and he knew that he and Shepard could choreograph a masterpiece.

~

“Last studio.” Shepard said, looking around the small room, wistful smile on her lips. “I’ll miss this room.”

“There are other studio rooms, you know.” Kaidan joked, setting up the music player in the corner of the room.

“Yeah, but this one’s special.” Shepard said. “That’s like saying there are other dance partners. Is it wrong to want to stay with the perfect one?”

Kaidan froze. He didn’t want to think about that sentence, or he’d drive himself crazy dissecting it. He didn’t need to dwell on her essentially calling him perfect. He needed to deflect with humor, or he’d end up saying something stupid. “I wouldn’t say you’re perfect. Your en pointe work is still a bit weak.”

“Shut up, Kaidan.” She said, her voice right behind him. “I’m trying to pay you a compliment.” Kaidan stood, turning to look at her. Her face wasn’t light and joking like normal. There was no easy smile. She looked dead serious.

“You’re a great dancer, Kaidan. And you’ve taught me more than some of my dance teachers have. I thought the partner work was going to be dull and uncomfortable when I first got here, I didn’t expect you.” She paused, eyes flitting down. ”You were a surprise.”

“A good surprise?” He asked, his voice sounding far away in his ears.

“Hmmm.” Shepard replied, both answering and ignoring his question. The remaining silence was deafening. She was too close, only inches from him, and Kaidan didn’t know what her words meant but they made him uneasy. He had never been great when it came to romance, but he knew that he really wanted to kiss her, and that she was looking at him kind of like she had in their week five dance. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. After what could have been either seconds or entire minutes, Shepard stepped away, clearing her throat awkwardly. Kaidan was afraid he’d made her uncomfortable, staring at her like he had been. Maybe he had read her wrong. She probably thought him creepy now.

“From the top?” She asked, heading for the middle of the floor. Kaidan started the music, and moved to the center of the floor, grateful for the distraction.

It started smoothly enough, even if it wasn’t perfect. Kaidan was too distracted to do much more than go through the motions. Every time he touched Shepard, he felt like a weak electric current traveled through his fingers, leaving them fuzzy and his arms weak. He tried to focus, but he fell behind a step or two. Shepard kept dancing, and Kaidan skipped a few steps to catch up. He managed to clear his head enough to make it through the next few lifts and into a turn when he heard a crash. He stopped, seeing Shepard lying on the floor, having slipped out of her turn.

She moved to get up, and gasped. “Damn it!”

“Shepard?” Kaidan moved towards her. She reached for her ankle, fingers prodding it lightly, and then jerking away.

“Damn it!”

“Shepard?” Kaidan repeated, sliding onto the floor beside her. “Is it broken?” She had been turning quickly, and he’d seen plenty of dancers break bones from falls.

She glared at him, as if offended at the very idea. “It’s just sore. Give me a minute, I’ll be fine.”

“Shepard, you should probably get it looked at, to be sure-“ Kaidan began, but her glare stopped him.

“I’m fine.” Shepard insisted, fingers rubbing the muscles of her lower leg. Kaidan wasn’t sure, but he didn’t press the issue. He knew what an injury right now would mean. There was still one more cut that had to be made.

After a moment, Shepard went to stand, and Kaidan reached out to help her, but she waved him off. Kaidan watched as she leaned on her hands, getting the unhurt foot underneath her before trying the other. She set the foot down gently, and stood. She wobbled a bit, and was leaning on the unhurt foot, but she could stand. There was no guarantee she could dance, though.

“From the top.”

“Shepard-“

“From the top, Kaidan.”

Kaidan moved to the music player, restarting their music.

She only made it through four eight counts before she fell a second time.

“From the top.” She grumbled, trying and failing to get to her feet on her own.

“No,” Kaidan said, his voice harsher than he meant it to be, “You need to go get that looked at.”

“No, Kaidan. I’ll be fine.” She somehow managed to get onto her good leg, but Kaidan saw her wince when she put weight on her injured foot.

“Like hell you will, Shepard.” He said, moving to put an arm around her, give her something to lean against. “You’re going to get that looked at.”

“No, Kaidan. They’ll tell me to rest it, and-” Her voice was softer now, softer than he’d ever heard it, “They’ll cut you if I don’t dance.” She looked up at him, and Kaidan felt the breath leave his lungs. She looked scared.

“Shepard- you can’t. You’ll only hurt yourself worse.” He couldn’t let her dance on a hurt ankle. It didn’t matter what was at stake, if she danced now, she might never dance again.

“Kaidan, I’m dancing.” Shepard said, and the way she said it let him know there was no way he was going to change her mind.

Kaidan herded Shepard over to the side of the room, helping her sit gently on a raised block used for stretcing. “Fine. Then we’ll work around it. No leaps, no turns unless they’re on your good foot with soft turnouts.”

She laughed. “Sure, we’ll just change our whole choreography in the next five hours.”

“Why not?” Kaidan replied, and Shepard looked at him as if he had sprouted an extra leg. Kaidan grabbed Shepard’s notebook and sat on the floor next to her. He opened it to a fresh page and wrote ‘Week 6- Second Edition’ at the top of the page.

“You’re insane.” Shepard breathed. “There’s no way we can pull this off.”

Kaidan smiled. “Have a little faith, Shepard. If anyone can, we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, no real dance scenes. The next chapter has the big dance, though, almost 2.5k words of just dancing. It'll come soon-ish.
> 
> (I'm also dating this terribly, with the reference to 'Wiggle'. I drafted this chapter in July, I just take six years to edit things.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the last chapter. This fic started six months ago as a pet project born of watching too many dance documentaries on Netflix. This is my first multi-chapter fic that I've actually completed, and I can't believe I've finished it.

Kaidan let his muscles relax as he pulled out of his stretch. He glanced over his shoulder before he moved into the next one. He met Shepard’s gaze as she lifted her leg, her foot reaching above her head.

“You nervous?” He asked, watching as she gingerly placed her very carefully wrapped foot down.

“Not at all.” She grinned, “You?”

He shook his head. It was amazing, considering they had only come up with their choreography a few hours ago, but he really wasn’t nervous. He trusted Shepard, and he trusted himself. They would get through this the best they could, and that was all either of them could hope for in the end. 

They stood there for a moment in silence. Kaidan felt like he needed to say something, but there was such a feeling of peace, he was afraid to say anything more. Kaidan could see the lights flash on the stage behind him, cueing them to get into position.

“You’re up, partner.” Shepard said softly. “Get out there and dazzle them.”

Kaidan smiled. “While I can.”

She laughed. “I’ll try not to steal your thunder.” There was a beat where Kaidan felt the ridiculous urge to duck forward and kiss her quickly, but he couldn’t make his feet move. He could only stare at her lips, painted a dazzling red.

“Kaidan.” She said, a soft smile and the hints of a bright blush touching her features, “You’re on.”

Kaidan startled a bit, blinking far more than was necessary. He muttered some nonsense that contained the words “right, yeah, dance”, but held no meaning as a phrase, and turned. He shot one last look over his shoulder, standing on the edge of the stage. Shepard chuckled and waved him forward, mouthing ‘Go!’.

Kaidan closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked into the light.

He walked quietly to the center of the stage, his back to the judges, and stood en pointe. He carefully got into position, knowing that the beginning of their dance had to capture the judge’s attention if he and Shepard were going to pull off the rest of it. 

Kaidan heard the music start, a soft piano melody over balanced strings, and glanced into the wings. There, he saw Shepard smiling  
.  
And then he began to dance. The choreography was from an old solo of his, one of the more impressive ones. Every move required absolute control, and even the simple moves were given an extra degree of difficulty through repetition or a variation. Kaidan meticulously went through fouettes, leaps, and pirouettes, his entire body tightly wound, as if he would explode soon. He was sure that the judges expected him to, they probably wanted him to show off the range of emotion he’d perfected over the last few weeks.

But they would have to wait. Kaidan made sure to keep his face blank, controlled. It was essential to the story of the dance, the one Shepard had come up with when they needed an extra emotional aspect to add to their choreography.

Kaidan moved into his last set, a grouping of Double Tours , just as the music changed. It was louder now, and harder as well, with dissonant chords replacing the soft and lilting melody from before. Shepard was entering.

Kaidan didn’t look at her as she rolled onto the floor, lying in front of him. He simply came out of his double tours as she proceeded to contort her body wildly, almost as if she had no control over her own limbs. He stayed still, staring at her for a moment, before she came up off the floor abruptly, glaring at him. Kaidan moved into a leg lift, completely en pointe, and stared at her. 

Shepard followed his lead, and they dueled. Kaidan would move into a fouette, Shepard would follow, Kaidan would do a small leap, and Shepard would match him. All the while, Shepard’s movements grew more controlled, and Kaidan’s grew softer. They turned from opposites, almost rivals, into partners , all in the span of a few eight counts.  
It had been her idea to do that, a literal showing of how they both clashed and complimented each other. How perfect they were together.

Now, Kaidan allowed himself to emote. He didn’t have to watch himself to know that his limbs were softer, and his expressions brighter. He moved behind Shepard and lifted her as she held difficult positions, her legs straight out to her sides, and her arms held above her head. He circled, allowing her to stay in position without her foot touching the ground. He set her down gently, careful of her injury, and Shepard moved to lay on her stomach. Kaidan moved into a series of turns as Shepard lifted her injured leg high into the air and then rose up, rushing over to where Kaidan had just ended his turns. She reached for his face, her fingers just barely tracing along his chin, before he grabbed her arm, spun her out and then into him.

Their best reviews had come from their romantic dance; they would be fools not to incorporate that into their freestyle. But that didn’t mean Kaidan had to like it. He had thought he had left the warm glances and soft caresses behind in Week 5, but now their entire dance was going to torture him.

Shepard lept into the air, and Kaidan caught her neatly, one arm wrapped around an upwardly stretched leg while the other curled around Shepard’s neck, cradling her body in his arms. She curled in on herself, and they embraced for a moment before Kaidan set her down yet again. Shepard stretched out on the floor, but Kaidan didn’t watch her floor work. He stepped over her and turned twice before moving away from her entirely, running to gain momentum for a jump.

He spun again, to give him something to do while Shepard turned and pranced in the other direction. They were across the stage from each other now, and Kaidan turned to look at her. 

She came out of a particularly gorgeous turn, and suddenly began running towards him, not even looking his way until she was halfway to him. She lept forward, just high enough for her legs to wrap around one of his shoulders. Kaidan held her at the small of her back, turning to keep her momentum going as she leaned backwards. He kept turning as Shepard swung one leg down from his shoulder, bending until she was vertical with him. Kaidan held her by her waist, her feet a few centimeters shy of the floor, and their combined momentum kept her moving back. She folded around his back, and he ducked his head to allow her to land on her feet softly.

Shepard grabbed his hand, and Kaidan pulled as she lowered herself to the ground, using his arm to keep her descent gradual. Kaidan swung her around him in a circle. She ended stopping in a split, right in front of him.

Kaidan stepped around Shepard, fouetting twice before landing on his knees near the front of the stage. He bent forward, and as the music swelled he came up, arms open wide.  
He felt Shepard’s footfalls first, vibrating through the wooden stage floor. Then she came flying over his head, arms locking around his waist. Kaidan folded his arms around her back, stopping her momentum before her head went flying into his crotch. Then, he pitched himself backwards, sending them both tumbling along the floor in writhing mess of limbs until they both ended up sitting upright. Shepard was all but in his lap, and they were both grasping onto each other so tightly, Kaidan could hardly breathe.

They stayed like that for a breath, holding each other tightly. Kaidan wanted to end the dance right then. He didn’t think he could continue on dancing with this memory of her so warm in his arms, breath hot and heavy in his ear, heartbeat pounding against his chest.

But they couldn’t end there, Shepard’s pride wouldn’t have allowed it. She’d come up with a truly spectacular ending for their dance, something that Kaidan would never have dreamed of attempting with any other partner. It was risky, but it would be amazing.

She must have interpreted his hesitation as nerves, because she whispered in his ear.

“I know you’ll catch me.”

They disentangled themselves from each other, their music changing yet again into something with a more robust sounding beat, something to fit what they were about to do. They stood back to back, Kaidan lifting his arms above his own head and as far back as he could reach. He felt Shepard shift behind him, her good foot lifting up to meet his outstretched hands. He grabbed it, her hands meeting his, and he pulled, leaning forward. 

Shepard went flying over his head. Kaidan lifted his shoulders right as she went over them, his hands and her foot landing on his thigh. The music was too loud on the stage for him to hear any outbursts from the crowd, but he hoped there were some. He had almost passed out when Shepard first suggested this move. If she had been any taller, the back of her head would have hit the ground.

But they had made it, and Shepard was now tightening her core again, waiting for him to lift her. Kaidan lifted her high above his head, and she bent so that she was horizontal, his hands shifting to accommodate her contortion.

Once Shepard was all but wrapped around one of his hands, Kaidan dropped the other one, holding it out to his side.

He couldn’t lift her with one arm fully extended for more than a moment, though, before he let her fall into his arms. He turned, Shepard’s legs wrapped around his hips, before he carefully fell backwards. He lay on the floor, Shepard standing over him before walking forward a step or two. Kaidan waited, staying absolutely still. She had to know exactly where he was if she was going to do this correctly, and not knee him in the stomach. Or other places.

He saw her chest first, and then the rest of her torso as she bent backwards, nearly flipping over him. He reached up, grabbing her hips to help her soften the blow as her legs hit the floor. She landed with her knees on either side of his hips, and she grabbed one of his hands off of her hip, pulling him upwards so that he was sitting upright, with her in his lap.

This was the part he had been dreading most. The look in her eyes was absolutely sinful as she trailed her fingers through his hair and down, passing his shoulders to follow his spine. He nearly shivered, grateful for the presence of the audience. They were a helpful deterrent from the inappropriate thoughts going through his mind.

Shepard slithered backwards from between his legs, and they grabbed each other’s hands in order to pull themselves up together.

Kaidan ran a hand down her face, and Shepard smiled. Her eyes didn’t match her grin though, they were too serious. As she ducked around him she whispered again.

“I know you’ll catch me, Kaidan.”

Kaidan turned, taking a deep breath. This was the most difficult part of their dance. As crazy as the first lift had been, this one was a billion times more difficult. He wondered if Shepard had a death wish.

He wasn’t holding onto her waist, as was usual. Instead, the only thing he had a hold of were Shepard’s hands. She lept into the air, and Kaidan lifted, squatting slightly to bring his lower body into play. Shepard flipped upward, her legs flying by his face as she got into position.

He was holding her in a handstand position, her back facing the same direction as his front. There was nothing holding her up except the grip they had on each other’s hands. Kaidan stared into Shepard’s eyes, waiting for any sign that she was struggling to hold herself up. Shepard only smiled. 

Kaidan extended his arms, Shepard now at least seven feet in the air. She grinned down at him all the while, as if she were routinely held aloft only by a pair of sweaty hands.  
They couldn’t hold that position for long, but it seemed like hours before Kaidan felt Shepard begin to shift her center of gravity backwards. He tightened his grip on her hands, hoping against all hope that they wouldn’t slip.

Shepard was falling back, and Kaidan only saw a flash of her wild grin before her face was heading straight for the ground.

Shepard locked her legs around Kaidan’s hips yet again, and his hands pulled hers, barely stopping her from face planting onto the hard stage.

He heard the gasps that time.

Kaidan let Shepard down slowly, her head ducking between his legs before he pulled her onto her feet. She let go of his hands in a graceful flourish, and turned to him, with wild eyes and flushed cheeks.

She ran at him, her foot only wobbling slightly, and lept into the air. For a moment, Kaidan panicked, they had no choreography planned after that lift, but he caught her just the same. He always caught her. Kaidan held her tighter than he had ever held anyone before, hardly believing that they had managed such a fantastic performance with such short practice time.

And her foot, hurt the way it was. Kaidan felt her stumble as he let her down, and almost picked her up again so that she wouldn’t have to stand on it. Shepard stepped back, depriving him of his chivalrous urges, and he felt her take his hand. She lifted their hands, smiling into the spotlight, dazzling the crowd and judges watching. 

Dazzling him.

It was all a blur, then. Kaidan couldn’t remember moving, but he somehow ended up backstage, accepting congratulations from Vakarian and Zorah. He complimented them in return, but he couldn’t remember what it was he said the moment he turned away.

Shepard was still holding his hand. And as soon as the dancers milling around them moved off to other matters, she pulled him into a more secluded area backstage, her grin so wide that he could see her tongue poking through her teeth. 

“Kaidan, that was-“ Shepard said, her hand leaving his to brush a bead of sweat off of her forehead. She was breathless, still. Her face and chest were flushed, and her eyes were brighter than he’d ever seen them. She looked wild. She looked excited. She looked absolutely beautiful.

“I know.” Kaidan took a step towards her, almost without meaning to. It was like he was drunk, in a haze after that dance, and all he wanted was to be closer to her.

“There was nothing wrong-“ Shepard said, shaking her head as if she couldn’t believe their stroke of luck. Her careful bun, loose already from the efforts of the dance, fell some more from this tiny motion. A single piece of hair fell into Shepard’s face.

“Yeah.” Kaidan interrupted her again, taking another tiny step towards her. Shepard remained oblivious.

“It was-“ 

“Perfect.” He said it with her, and her eyes darted to his. Kaidan lifted a hand to push back that stray piece of hair, his fingers barely ghosting over her flushed check. 

God, he was an idiot. 

How could he have let this happen? He had spent his entire life controlling every aspect of his life. From his head to his feet, everything had always been rigidly controlled.   
But he couldn’t control his heart.

He was falling in love with her.

“Shepard-” His voice was a lot weaker than he wanted it to be. It was almost pleading. He needed her to do it. He had fallen for her too hard, too fast, and now he was stuck. He couldn’t disentangle himself from her, he wasn’t strong enough. She was Shepard. She was the best dancer he’d ever seen, but she was also determined and clever and funny and beautiful. He needed her to let him down rough and fast, or he’d be pining after her for years, regardless of where they both ended up.

Kaidan felt her hands at his chest, and he very quickly realized that his hand was still on her face, thumb on her cheek, and fingers curling in the loose hair at the nape of her neck. He waited for her to push him off of her, but was surprised when the force he felt wasn’t a push.

It was a pull.

Shepard pulling him towards her, to be precise. And pressing her lips to his. Kaidan breathed in deeply through his nose, his mind going a hundred miles an hour, trying to understand what exactly was happening. Kaidan’s lips parted, trying to buy some time for his mind to catch up.

It never got a chance to, because Shepard’s lips parted quickly after Kaidan’s, and she moaned. 

She moaned, and Kaidan stopped thinking. His body went on auto-pilot, his lips moving of their own accord, and the hand that wasn’t buried in Shepard’s hair moved to her back. She felt so good pressed against him, warm and electrifying all at once. He ached everywhere she touched him. She was too close, and still not close enough. 

Shepard moved her hands up his chest, her fingers playing with the neckline of his shirt, and then Kaidan was the one moaning.

As embarrassing as that was, it seemed to only spur Shepard into kissing him harder, her lips moving relentlessly against his. It was like she wanted to devour him, and he was going to let her. 

They only broke apart when they needed air. There was a moment of silence, where they both stared at each other, and then Shepard grinned. “Geez, Kaidan,” Her eyes ducked downwards, to look pointedly at the floor as her voice lowered, “If I had known you were going to kiss me like that, I might have done that two weeks ago.”

Kaidan only chuckled weakly, not able to come up with a snappy retort. His brain was still trying to recover from the initial shock of Shepard kissing him. He settled on softly pressing his forehead to Shepard’s, hoping that would convey his feelings.

They stood like that for a moment, exactly how long, Kaidan didn’t know. The silence was unusually comfortable.

Kaidan knew that they needed to talk. They needed to talk about The Citadel, about their futures, about everything. He needed to know what they were. He needed to know what she wanted. Did she want to be with him, or did she just want a fling? What would happen to them if they didn’t make it into the Citadel? Would they still try to be together? 

“You’re thinking too loudly.” Shepard said suddenly, her breath ghosting over Kaidan’s cheek. “Relax.”

“But-“He began, wanting to explain all of his thoughts at once.

“I know.” Shepard interrupted, moving to meet his gaze. “And we don’t know yet. We won’t for weeks. They’re assholes like that. They like to get all their ducks in a row first. The professors will fight over who they want to teach for a bit, since each one only has so much studio time for privates, and then administration will get the logistics planned, and then the students will be notified. The school will send letters with dorm assignments and class schedules and everything else all at once. It’ll be weeks before we know if we made it for sure.”

“But…” The rest of Kaidan’s sentence was left unspoken. He had expected her to interrupt him again.

_What about us?_

Shepard chuckled softly. “If you think I’m letting you get away, then you’re an idiot. I don’t care what those judges out there think, we’re the best pair I’ve ever seen. If they don’t want us, then I’ll go wherever you want to go. And I don’t mean just to dance, we’re a great pair besides that. I mean outside that-“She paused, the tiniest noise of frustration filling the silence.“I’m no good at this, am I? I suppose I don’t have a lot of practice with confessions, I usually just dance about my emotions.” Shepard laughed weakly, but sobered quickly. 

“Kaidan, I’ve never wanted anything in my life except to dance, but-“She looked up at him again, finally, her eyes wide and soft. “Now I want you, too.”

Kaidan couldn’t think of anything to say. His brain was still catching up to all she had said, still formulating complete sentences. He needed a moment. Kaidan ducked forward and kissed Shepard quickly, knowing she deserved some kind of response, even if his brain wasn’t supplying one yet. But then the kiss was over, and they were standing there in complete silence, Shepard smiling and Kaidan trying to come up with something, anything to say. 

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Anything except that. He wanted to explain, to elaborate but he knew that if he said anything more, he’d become a rambling, incoherent mess, and it wouldn’t be fair to her. The statement had been an honest one.

“That’s okay.” Shepard replied, smiling as she lifted onto her toes and pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“I’ll catch you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know the dance is probably a mess to read, so here are some links to dances that inspired the choreography I saw in my mind:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FOaRS2zSQk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dazkX0aMjbw  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YL_0EZ8pd8
> 
> If you would like a specific break down of which parts of those dances inspired which portions of Shepard and Kaidan's dance, message me and I can give time stamps.)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
